Pain tolerance is an important kink for both Top and Bottom. It allows a slave to take on more punishment without needing breaks.
To build up a bottom’s pain tolerance, it is recommended to start with ten minutes of relatively light stimulation. This ‘loads’ the body with endorphins.
Masochism is the pleasure in suffering, whether inflicted by another or self-inflicted (algolagnia). BDSM focuses on bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission.
1. Breathing
Taking deep, controlled breaths during pain play can help to decrease the sensation of each strike or needle as well as mitigate anxiety levels. Keeping in mind that pain is a graceful part of kink can also help. Being able to accept pain and still show grace will impress your Dom and increase their willingness to do even more.
The researchers found that submissives’ endocannabinoid levels – which are related to their pleasure thresholds – were higher after experiencing pain. The study was the first of its kind and is a great advancement in understanding how the pain tolerance of BDSM participants differs from one another.
However, it is important to remember that even though BDSM can provide a lot of pleasure, it can also be dangerous and lead to serious injuries. It’s important for both Top and bottom to be clear-minded and safe – using non-porous implements that can be easily disinfected, as well as avoiding drugs and alcohol, which can affect perception (including Dom/sub space) and pain tolerance. A thorough discussion of safe words and signals as well as clear consent are essential to avoid any unnecessary harm.
2. Distraction
A bottom who can’t process pain properly may experience a number of long and short term health issues. They’ll be unable to identify the signs of serious damage, have mood swings that disrupt their play and may even end up suffering serious injury as a result of not being able to react quickly enough to signals from their body telling them it is in danger.
This is why it’s important for those who want to enjoy impact play or other more painful kinks to focus on distractions that will enable them to take the punishment and enjoy themselves. Cock and ball torture (CBT), breast and clit torture, nail biting, wax play on the testicles and penis (be sure to use candles specifically made for this purpose) and rough penetration during sex can all be great ways to distract your mind and body from the pain of impact play.
The key is to find what works for you and your partner – try out different things until you find something that makes you feel good. It might be a deep breathing exercise, visualising leaves floating on a stream, focusing on the sensation of a tightening in your chest or whatever else you can come up with.
3. Noise
When it comes to BDSM, there is a lot of noise out there. It can be hard to get the word out that this is a safe, sane and consensual community that only enjoys play that is mutually agreed upon and appropriate. Those who engage in risk-aware consensual BDSM will have conversations about what is safe, sane and appropriate before any sort of play happens.
While many people still don’t understand what BDSM really is, the underlying psychology behind it is relatively well understood. People who crave power play, handcuffs and spanking are simply seeking pleasure from being disciplined and controlled by a dominant force. On the other hand, those who crave masochistic submission and sadism are seeking enjoyment from being hurt, bound, and humiliated by a dominant force.
These types of activities are similar to drug addictions in that they cause neural networks (or brain maps) to form, and these maps are difficult to undo. In addition, like drug addictions, it’s easy to build up tolerance to these behaviors and end up needing progressively higher doses in order to experience the same level of stimulation or pleasure.
4. Stimulation
The ability to process pain for a bottom is dependent on the biological release of a cocktail of Dopamine, Serotonin and Adrenaline throughout the body. If these chemicals are blocked by drugs, mood stabilizers or narcotics then it can have serious long and short term health effects and dramatically lower the bottom’s capacity to process pain.
Stimulation such as noise (yelling, swearing) can distract from and/or help to process the pain for a bottom. Movement can also be a great form of stimulation that can be used to distract, including writhing, clenching and snapping fingers, tensing and releasing muscles and the famous masochist dance after a heavy handed stroke – all of which disperse the pain over a greater area of the nervous system than simply holding still and remaining tense.
BDSM is a term for sexual roleplaying involving bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism – all of which are always consensually performed. These activities are commonly referred to as ‘pain play’ and are often accompanied by sex toys such as whips, clamps and paddles, as well as fetish objects such as oral clitters, tongue splitters and a variety of vibrators.
5. Movement
BDSM is a broad umbrella term that covers erotic practices and kinks based on power imbalances between consenting sexual partners. It’s comprised of three communities with their own erotic practices: bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism.
Dominants and submissives alike derive satisfaction from pain, suffering and humiliation — whether self-inflicted or inflicted by others. The latter is known as masochism, and recent changes to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) declared that masochism doesn’t constitute a mental illness.
It’s important to ease into kink slowly and at a pace that feels right for you. It’s common for people to begin with restraint play, like hand-jobs and tongue play, before moving on to more intense impact pain and masochism. Regardless of which type of pain you prefer, you can prepare for these experiences by exercising and using calming breathing techniques. It’s also helpful to avoid alcohol, as it can increase the intensity of pain sensations and make them more difficult to withstand. The same goes for caffeine, which may affect the body’s ability to process sensory input.
